Confessions of a Den Haag Escort(real): What Clients Always Get Wrong

An unfiltered, intimate, and sometimes hilarious look behind the velvet curtain

 Champagne, Stilettos & Misconceptions

You think you know what it’s like to be an escort in Den Haag? Think again.

People assume our lives are all glitter and seduction, peppered with designer lingerie, mysterious hotel rooms, and rich men who always say the right thing. The truth? Sometimes it's that. Other times… it’s awkward silences, unexpected sock fetishes, and clients who still think it’s okay to show up 45 minutes late.

I'm a Den Haag escort—no names, no photos here. Just real talk. And after a few years in this business, I’ve seen enough misunderstandings to write a guidebook. So, here it is. My confession. My TED Talk. My love letter (and warning label) to clients everywhere.

Let’s go deep—heels first.

Chapter 1: No, We’re Not "Falling for You"

Here’s something clients often get wrong: they mistake great chemistry for real-life romance. Don’t get me wrong—there are moments during a date when it feels like we’re falling for each other. The long eye contact. The playful teasing. The way she laughs at your jokes like you’re the reincarnation of George Clooney.

But that’s our job.

When you book an escort in Den Haag, you’re not paying for sex—you’re paying for fantasy, connection, and experience. Yes, the chemistry can be real. Yes, we sometimes genuinely enjoy your company. But when the hourglass runs out, so does the fantasy.

💋 Client Mistake #1: Assuming she wants to "see you off the clock."❌ Reality: Unless explicitly discussed (and consensual), she doesn’t.

Chapter 2: Money Talks—So Say It Clearly

Let’s talk about the dreaded awkward envelope moment. Some clients hand over the fee like they’re passing nuclear codes. Others pretend they “forgot” and spend half the booking fumbling through their wallet.

💡 Pro Tip: The best clients? They handle payment discreetly, confidently, and upfront. No negotiation. No hesitation.

We don’t want to talk about money once the date starts. It kills the mood. Pay. Smile. Move on. That’s the vibe.

💋 Client Mistake #2: Thinking we’ll talk about rates mid-session.❌ Reality: It’s not sexy, it’s stressful. And it ruins the energy.

Chapter 3: Cleanliness is NOT Optional

Listen, I get it. You’re excited. You're thinking about the curves, the scent of her perfume, the way she’ll kiss you like the world is ending.

But did you… shower?

I don’t mean this morning. I mean right before we meet. Fresh breath, trimmed nails, and a clean body are minimum standards—especially when you’re booking a high-class Den Haag escort.

And don’t assume cologne will cover up BO. It doesn’t. It just makes it smell like expensive regret.

💋 Client Mistake #3: Showing up sweaty or unkempt.❌ Reality: You’re not getting her best if she’s trying not to gag.

Chapter 4: We're Not Mind Readers—Tell Us What You Want

Some clients think being mysterious is sexy. It’s not.

We’re not telepathic nymphs from another dimension—we need clear, respectful communication. If you want a slow, sensual girlfriend experience? Say so. If you like roleplay or you’re nervous because it’s your first time? Let us know.

You’re not being weird. You’re being honest. And honest clients get the best experiences.

💬 Escort Den Haag Rule: The more we know, the better we play the part.

💋 Client Mistake #4: Saying “I’m easy” or “You decide.”❌ Reality: That’s like ordering “something” at a restaurant and getting pickles on toast.

Chapter 5: You're Not “Saving” Us—Stop the Savior Complex

Ah, the white knight client. The one who thinks he’s going to “rescue” me from escorting.

He starts out charming. Then it happens. Somewhere between dessert and dessert, he leans in and whispers, “You don’t have to do this, you know.”

Sir. I know.

Being a Den Haag escort is my choice. I’m good at it. I’m proud of it. I’m not looking for a sugar daddy who’ll take me away from all this—I am the sugar.

💋 Client Mistake #5: Believing we need to be “saved” from our job.❌ Reality: We’re not Cinderella. You’re not the prince. This is not a Disney reboot.

Chapter 6: The Clock is Ticking (And That’s Okay!)

Time is sacred in this business. When you book an hour, we both know what that means. We can talk, tease, cuddle, play—but when the time’s up, it’s up.

The best clients? They respect the time. The worst? They stall. They suddenly want to “chat more,” or take extra long showers, or start a second bottle of wine at minute 57.

Trust me, being on time—and leaving on time—makes you a gentleman. And you’ll be welcomed back with open arms (and legs).

💋 Client Mistake #6: Pushing for extra time without paying.❌ Reality: That’s not romantic—it’s rude.

Chapter 7: No Photos, No Footage, No Funny Business

One more time for the men in the back: No filming. No sneaky selfies. No secret cameras.

This is not an amateur porn set. This is real life, and escorts value privacy and boundaries more than anything.

If you want to never see an escort again, try sneaking a photo. If you want to be respected, desired, and treated like royalty? Keep the phone down and eyes up.

💋 Client Mistake #7: “Can I take a quick pic for myself?”❌ Reality: No. Never. Seriously—no.

Chapter 8: It’s Not All About You (It’s About the Experience)

Some clients think they’re the main character. They show up expecting us to worship them, laugh at every joke, and perform like they’re Casanova reincarnated.

But here’s the truth: The best experiences happen when the energy is mutual. When you make us feel safe, seen, and sexy? We bring our A-game.

💡 Escort Tip: Treat the escort like a person, not a product. You’ll be amazed how much more magic you get.

💋 Client Mistake #8: Acting entitled.❌ Reality: Charm > ego. Every time.

Chapter 9: The Things Clients Ask (That Make Us Blink Twice)

Let’s talk about some of the wild, weird, and downright awkward things clients ask.

❓“Do you really enjoy this?”

Loaded question. Sometimes yes. Sometimes it’s a paycheck. Sometimes you’re lovely. Other times, we’re counting the minutes till the Uber arrives.

💋 Escort truth: We’re not here to lie—but we’re also not your therapist. If you want emotional validation, try a life coach, not a luxury escort in Den Haag.

❓“What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”

Translation: “Say something that turns me on, but still makes me think you’re pure.”

Some escorts will play along. Others won’t. But what clients often miss is that we're not here to spill our whole life story. We're here to create a fantasy with you—not offer a highlight reel from past clients.

💋 Escort tip: If you’re curious, ask playfully. Not like a podcaster doing an exposé.

❓“Can you do things off the menu?”

Gentlemen. Please. Respect the boundaries. If you wouldn’t ask it in a Michelin-star restaurant, don’t ask your Den Haag escort. Consent matters. Mutual comfort is non-negotiable.

Chapter 10: Want to Be a Favorite? Here’s How.

You don’t have to be rich. You don’t need a six-pack. You don’t even need to be especially handsome. The clients we remember? The ones we look forward to seeing? They have three things in common:

1. Respect.

They don’t just treat us like queens—they respect our time, our boundaries, and our value.

2. Generosity.

Not always financial. Sometimes it’s kind words, thoughtful touches, or letting us choose the wine. Real generosity is classy.

3. Confidence, Not Arrogance.

The ones who walk in like James Bond but talk to us like equals? Mmm. Yes, please.

💋 Escort tip: Want us to remember you? Make the experience about both of us, not just you.

Chapter 11: My Top 5 Personal Client Horror Stories

(Names changed, dignity intact)

1. The Naked Cryer

He got undressed, sat on the bed... and sobbed for 20 minutes. I rubbed his back and offered tissues. He paid for the hour, left after 30 minutes, and tipped me extra for being “his emotional rock.”

Honestly? Kind of sweet. Still weird.

2. The Champagne Sprayer

He brought a bottle of Dom Pérignon. Didn’t open it—sprayed it like he just won the Formula 1. On the walls, the bed, me. The hotel was not pleased. Neither was my blowout.

3. The “Accidental” Plus One

He forgot to mention he was bringing a friend. “Thought it would be fun!” he said. I thought: Goodbye, sir. Immediate cancellation. No refund.

4. The Lurker

He requested a roleplay where I was “the librarian” and he was “watching from the shadows.” He literally sat in the dark corner of the suite and stared at me reading for 45 minutes. No talking. No touching. Just… lurking. I’ve never read Shakespeare so fast.

5. The Birthday Suit Sleeper

He fell asleep—naked and snoring—before anything even started. I tucked him in, turned off the lights, and ate all the chocolate he brought. Honestly, that was one of the better dates.

Chapter 12: The Sex Isn’t Always the Best Part

Shocking, right? For many escorts, the most fulfilling parts of this work are:

• The stories: From politicians to tourists, we hear things most wives never will.

• The connection: Holding hands at dinner, sharing inside jokes—sometimes that’s more intimate than anything in the bedroom.

• The transformation: Watching a nervous first-timer become confident over the course of an hour. Magic.

💋 Escort wisdom: The best encounters don’t end sweaty—they end smiling.

Chapter 13: The Escort Den Haag Fantasy vs. Reality

Fantasy:

She arrives in a trench coat and heels. You drink champagne. She whispers that you’re the best she’s ever had.

Reality:

She arrives stunning and professional. You enjoy real conversation, real chemistry, and real boundaries. She leaves when time’s up, and you feel like you’ve just lived a beautiful little dream.

That’s the magic of a Den Haag escort done right.

Final Thoughts: Want a Better Experience? Be a Better Client.

Being an escort isn’t easy—but it can be beautiful. And when clients get it, the whole experience transforms.

Want the truth? The best clients don’t try to impress us. They try to connect with us. They trust us to lead, respect us as professionals, and bring their best selves into the room.

So next time you book an escort in Den Haag, remember:

• Don’t be the naked cryer.

• Respect the clock.

• Be freshly showered.

• Ask what she likes, too.

• And whatever you do—never ask to film.

Be the client she smiles about on her way home. Not the one she writes about anonymously online. 😉

Would You Like to Meet an Escort Who Knows What You Want—Before You Even Ask?

Let Mary Jane Escort Den Haag match you with a high-class companion who brings not only beauty and passion—but genuine connection and conversation.

💌 Ready to book? Your fantasy starts [here].